I’ve just been listening to Conversations with Richard Fidler on ABC radio again… I love his show: his enthusiasm for his guests, the research that goes into each talk, and every single talk he has ends up being fascinating, even though I might not think it in the beginning…
Today he interviewed a clinical psychologist specialising in children & family law – a great chat with very interesting viewpoints – ie that ADHD doesn’t actually exist, that most children who are being given psychotropic drugs shouldn’t be and it is the issue of control that is the problem.
The interviewee (whose name I’m trying to find!) also gave his two most important, and wonderful, points of advice regarding good parenting:
1) Be a good role model.
2) Open up your heart to your children so that they can feel how amazingly awesome you think they are.
So simple, yet I feel so guilty already for being far from a great role model most of the time, and letting my learnt shouty behaviour get the better of me… but I’m trying every day to get better and break away from my destructive past… I hope that I show them how much I love them? He said it’s not just about telling them you love them (although that’s obviously important) but also your body language and how you manifest love in other ways as children are so perceptive.
I’ve just finished a brilliant book – it took me three fricken months to finish it and then had to give it back to the library but I’m so glad I pushed through as it’s given me a lot to think about:
‘When Your Kids Push Your Buttons And What You Can Do About It’ by Bonnie Harris.
In a nutshell: your kids are your teachers. Whatever buttons are getting pushed in you is what you need to deal with from your own childhood and sort out! It’s amazing that I’m only starting to realise that instead of feeling like the grown up, adult mother of two with all the answers, that I thought I would be at almost 40 – instead I feel immature, unsure, unwise and out of control a lot of the time – and it has been through reading this book to wake me up to the fact that having children will obviously bring up submerged childhood issues that you never realised existed before you had kids… Parenting’s a minefield, I need all the help I can get!